Going out on a new date is fun. There is always that sense of excitement, nerves and expectation in getting to meet someone new. There is a spirit of adventure in the air. There is a feeling of hope that this could be someone special that they are dating this time.
To the more experienced, though, the excitement is tinged with caution. They have been through this before and they know the ups and downs of the dating game. How many times have they been disappointed, how many times have they been let down, and how many times have they been put at risk! Dating safety is of paramount importance to them.
Consider the following pointers for safe dating on online dating sites:
Stay anonymous until you are comfortable with that person. Dating sites are set up to offer members a safe communication system in-house. Do not swap personal email addresses or phone numbers until you are ready. When you do, use a free email address from Hotmail, Yahoo! or Gmail which you can easily delete if the relationship does not progress. Use your mobile phone number. You could even get a special prepaid phone number for this purpose. Do not give your work or personal email address. Do not give your work or home phone number. Do not give out your surname. A quick search of your full name online can glean a lot of information about you! Do not give out your home address under the guise of sending you flowers or gifts.
Get to know the person. Use the communication systems on site to find out all you can. There are emails, Instant Messaging, Chat Rooms... communicate extensively. Ask lots of questions. I particularly like the video chat rooms where you can talk and SEE the person. Do you like the look of them? Do you like their body language and mannerisms? Do you get along? Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before you exchange contact details.
Top Tip: Do a search online for the name/username, email address, telephone number and any other key phrases to see if they are known scammers. You may be surprised what the search shows. There are lots of websites with information on dating scams and known scammers.
The very first date. Let me remind you again - there is no need to rush into your first date. Get to know them first. And this - Nobody should go out on a date without seeing the person on video! OK, you are ready. Choose a time when there are lots of people around. Lunchtime is especially good. Choose a public place, somewhere casual and relaxed that you are familiar with. Keep it short and sweet. Do not have an elaborate 3-course meal with someone you have never met. A cup of coffee will suffice. There will be plenty of time for a real first date if the chemistry is right.
Tell a friend where you are going, who with, and when you will be back. You could ask your friend to ring you midway through the date to check everything is ok.
Have a time limit so you have an exit point.
Drive yourself there and back. Do not accept lifts.
Do not leave unattended any personal belongings which contain your personal information.
Stay sober so your judgment is not impaired. Be cautious of drink spiking.
Trust your instincts and be cautious.
Do not let yourself be coerced into going anywhere and doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Advancing your relationship. If the first date worked out well, keep dating and seeing each other. Take things slowly as you learn more about the person and vice versa. Trust takes time and has to be earned.
When to cut off a person. There will be times when you need to exercise good judgment and stop all contact with someone.
Do not tolerate abusive language and violent behaviour.
Do not accept inappropriate and sexually-loaded questioning.
Do not be pressured into giving personal or financial information.
Do not be pressured into giving financial assistance.
If you feel the person is not exactly Mr or Mrs Right. Break it to them gently, but be honest, direct and polite.
Online dating is here to stay and more and more singles are using them to find their soul mates. With a bit of caution and common sense, they can utilise dating sites safely and have a wonderful experience.
Reference by : Mark_C_Lim
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